Broadening my Horizons

Ok, so I am a bit hesitant to even write this post for a multitude of reasons, the fear behind these next few words is crazy, but...I have been doing great!  WHAT!  Fear?!?!  Yes!  I feel like whenever I get on track with things and TALK about it, that is exactly when I fall off.  So, why take the risk?  because, it needs to be taken.

Hubs and I have been low carbing life for about 6 weeks now.  It was hard at first, but honestly I don't miss the food we used to eat.  As I said in my post Low Carbing and Hemp Heart Winner, the pros outweigh the cons (pun intended).  I am sleeping SO much better (which is actually my fav thing), I am slowly but surely seeing the numbers on the scale drop, my clothes fit SO much better (I even pulled three pairs of pants out of the donation bag as they now fit again), and the most weird...i LOVE checking myself out.  If I see w full length mirror, I'm there.  I like what I am seeing.  I like the way I look in my clothes again, I like when I am working out how the tighter fitting clothes look.  I can SEE results as well as feel them and to me that is the ultimate win! 

So the other scary part of this post is what I am about to say next...only because the ;last time I tried this it was not a great experience, but I feel like I owe it to one of my writing partners in crime, Jessica Williams from The Journey, to give it another shot! Ok, here it goes...I want to try spinning!  Seeing it written out like that as a "major confession" seems silly, but you have no idea.  Well, strike that, maybe you do.

So far I have been working out steadily to my Ellen Barrett DVD collection.  LOVE HER!  I have been doing a nice rotation of her workouts, with the occasional run thrown in there and its been great.  I have been able to do it all from the safe space of my house, by myself...but spinning means going to a gym, taking a class.  Ugh!  I own it on my yoga mat in my room when I am getting my sweat on with Ellen, or hitting the pavement in my neighborhood (running when most aren't even home from work yet)...but this is different.  This is a class.  A class in public.  A class that could be filled with spinning pros and me.  Ugh again I say.  At least I can say proudly that I am a gym member...I was swimming pretty regularly for a while before the girls fall sports started up...that plan is to get back on track too abut again, even though at the gym...more of an individual thing, or fun with the kiddos.

So, I am pretty sure I am going to try it.  Jessica swears by it (wish I could take HER class, but seeing as how she is a few states away).  What is YOUR fav workout class to take?

Broken Hearted

Oh friends, what a crazy few weeks its been.  We have been busy with our Fit Family Challenge (mostly walking) and back to school...but the thing that has been keeping me from you is my fur baby boy.  My sweet kitty boo boo is still AWOL.  The neighbor came over last night and thinks that he may have crawled under her porch to pass.  My hubby said that cats will do that, and I am just beside myself about it.  Complete denial.  I keep saying that I am sure it's going to be a raccoon when we check.  My heart is broken.  I have had pets growing up, well not...I have had dogs.  I have never been a cat owner.  I was actually allergic growing up, so when my oldest asked for a cat 7 years ago we went to the shelter and she looked and I sniffed.  The deal was it had to be a cat she liked and that didn't make my eyes swell shut.  That is when we found Nelson.

Nelson was one of a litter of kitties left in a box at the door step of the shelter.  After the vet saw him, it was determined that he had been abused and had some structural damage to his face.  He was a wheezer.  He sounded so sad and like an asthmatic old man, but he seemed happy to be going home with us.  When it came time to name him I suggested Nelson.  for some reason he made me think of Major Nelson from I Dream of Jeanie.  I fed him, changed his litter box...but I was steadfast in my statements that he was NOT my cat.  He was my daughter's.

Nelson let us pick him up and carry him around like a tiny baby.  He loves snuggling and we developed quite the routine.  I wake up in some random cramped position everyday, because I seem to contort myself around him when he gets in bed and snuggles around my knees.  Every morning, I get out of the shower, he meows like a maniac at the bathroom door and I rush to let him in before he wakes up the entire house.   Then I scurry around while he tried to rub himself against my still wet legs.  I rub his belly and then move on to getting ready.  Once realizing the belly rub is done the meowing starts back up and I toss a pony tail holder to him to keep him busy while I finish getting ready.

We go downstairs and have breakfast.   This involves me trying to get myself food and him meowing like a madman again for milk.  We eat, say good morning to the other kitty and the pup, and when I go to leave he follows me outside and scurries off to kill things. 

He has his little wheeze, and sneezes like a pro which is gross...at least humans can cover their mouths when things fly out, and he is small due to also having other health issues.  When I was preggers he would lay on my belly, well, until mini me kicked him through there one time...then it was game off.  At about 7-8 months preggers, he crawled into the ceiling of the basement and I panicked to the point of uncontrollable sobs.  This would have been OK except hubby came home from the gym to me in this state worried something had happened with the baby.  I just kept saying, she will never forgive me if we lose her kitty (about DD).

I have walked the street at midnight when he goes out carousing, stood in rain storms urging him out of his hiding place under the car to come inside to safety, woken up on the couch with him curled up so tightly with me that I yell at him for being a pain.  And now here I sit, tears streaming down my face while I type this because I miss him so damn much.  I can't explain how very much I want it to be a raccoon or some other random creature under the neighbors porch.  I want to believe that he is on an epic adventure and will return soon...but at the same time, I need to know and if so have that closure.  I have screamed about how selfish it would be to go off and die somewhere, and sworn off any other cats after his brother is gone because I don't know how else to cope with this.    I had two amazing dogs as a child and when it was time, we were together as a family with the vet when it was time to put them down.  I was able to tell them how much I loved them and say goodbye.  I haven't said good bye to Nelson yet.

My husband keeps telling me what a great life he had, and I know its true.  No one else would have taken this wheezy, sickly little kitty from the shelter.  He is loved beyond measure, and I can only hope that he knows how very much I love him (especially because I told him the opposite so many times when he would make me too crazy). 

Say a prayer for me as I go home today and do the hardest thing I have done in awhile, and look under that porch.

Acceptance

I have started this blog over and over in the past  few weeks.  Just  trying to really get my thoughts clear, get my head  clear.  Have you ever  felt like that, like you have turned a corner and you are so excited you want to  share it but just can't make it clear?!?!  That is where  I have been living the past  few weeks, and its great, and frustrating all  at once.

I had an epiphany a few weeks before Thanksgiving.  It was the strangest thing.  I was getting dressed for work, something that happens everyday  and usually triggers some sort of negative thought. Something like, that used to be more  tone or that was firmer once upon a time.  So I'm getting dressed and I look in the mirror and I think, pretty good for 37.  Yep,  37...and normally too this would have bothered me but it didn't, it doesn't.  It instead started this while whirlwind of thoughts and feelings.

The day I got  married I was in the best shape of my life, I will never be like that again.  ow here  is where the change happened...I  will never be like that again NOT because I'm lazy or anything like that....I will never be like that again because I am not that person anymore.   I'm not that young, I don't have the amount of free time I had then,  my body isn't the same...I  have been pregnant, I have rounded another decade, so many things...and you know what?  I'm good  with it.  I accept it.  Not only that, I embrace it.

It's true, I will never have the body I had at 21 again, I  will never have the body I had on my wedding day again...and I am so grateful for that fact!   I will never have it again because  I can be better...I can be healthier and stronger.  When I was younger I could workout for hours, I could run everyday unhindered...but now I have to make time for it.  But  you know what, it has made  me healthier overall.  I may have 10-15 pounds more on my frame right now then I would like, but its okay...because (most) of the food choices that got me there are  FAR better then the ones I made when I was hard(er)-bodied twenty-something.  My metabolism isn't what it used to be...but I can work with that, I can push myself harder...and until I get there, if I get there I'm good with how I am right now.

Parenthood

Hi, my name is Shannon and I have an addiction to the TV show Parenthood on NBC.  I have recently found this  amazing piece on Netflix, and cannot seem to stop  watching it.  I am eagerly awaiting the season premier this year even more then my birthday.  Well, truth be told it's ON my birthday, so it's like NBC's little gift to me.  There.  I  said it.  I openly admit my addiction.

I have found myself emotionally attached  to  these characters, and drawing on their experiences and how things parallel life.  It's such a good show.  It's true to life.  It's made me stop  and really appreciate little things with my family that I may have otherwise not even noticed.  I have actually felt a wave of  calm    wash over me  after watching an episode.  It's like, see, even TV families have a lot of crap to deal with, its not all Norman Rockwell.

One of the things I  find after watching it though is how aware I am of time passing.  My oldest turned 13 yesterday.  She is officially a teenager.  I can't believe  it.  My youngest,  my baby,  my mini me...she started kindergarten last week.  Where has the time gone?  Where is it going? Why do my babies have to  keep getting older and more independent?   I know that is what is best for them,  I really do...but they are my babies.

There was a storyline that I just finished in the show (I won't tell you...no need  for a spoiler alert for  those who intend   to watch)...but it made me really start to think about the things that I want my girls to know  and remember and think and feel and believe.  So here it goes.

My sweet Bayba..

You are  now a teenager.  I can't believe it.  When did this happen?  You were just me sweet little girl yesterday  pressing her  face against the window at daycare crying, begging me not to  leave you there (which made me constantly  late for work-because I couldn't just leave you there).  You were the first person to make me realize just how full of love my heart could really be.  You were my sleep  hating baby at night that would gently lay on my chest and hold my finger as you napped during the day.  You were the first amazing child  in my life to utter  the word  Momma, and make me realize just how special that word really is.  You made me look at my relationship with Mimi (my mom)  in a whole new light.  You make me laugh, you make me cry, you fill me with fear and also hope.  You have grown into a beautiful young woman.  Quiet and reserved,  smart, witty,  funny with your Dad's crazy sense of humor.  You know what is important to you and you protect it fiercely.  You try to be SO independent, but still come and just  hug me or rest  your head on my shoulder so I know you still need  me,   and guess what...I need  you too.   You will always be my first baby.  The first one to fill my heart and make me realize how precious life is and can be,  I have so  many hopes and dreams for you.  You doubt yourself, we  all do,  but you are stronger  than you know and can do anything.  I know all parents tell their children that, but you my sweet girl really can and will.  I am so  proud of the person you are becoming, it's an honor to be your mom.

Oh my sweet, sweet mini me,

I don't even know where  to begin with you.  You are  my soul, my heart.  You and I connect in a way no one else  ever will or will ever truly understand.  You made  me realize that love is bigger and stronger  than anything in this  world.  You spoke  to me even when you were still rolling around and kicking in my belly.  You are me.  I  look into  your big beautiful eyes and see such love reflecting back at me.  You may look like  your  Dadoo, but you my dear, are  all Momma.  You are my perfect angel.  The dream that I wasn't sure would ever come true.  You have taught me so much about myself, and have made me better for it.  You are my sassy, smart, creative, outgoing,  vivacious girl that can't be stopped.  You are as determined  and stubborn as me, you are adamant (Daddy's favorite word to describe Mommy), you know what you want and go after it.  Don't ever lose that!  In a world that  is  so  scary and out of control, you are  my center.  You remind me of what it is all  really about.  Kindergarten.  WOW!   I am still in disbelief that  it is already that time.  You have handled it  all with grace and style, as  I knew  you would.  You are  just starting on this adventure as a "big girl" and I could not be more proud of you.  You will move mountains.  Follow your heart and your dreams always.  I can not wait to see what life has in store for you, whatever it is I just know you will take it all in and make things better, brighter.  You are  a shining star in a dark sky. 

You are sisters.  You are always going to be sisters and connected to  each other.  Support one another, love one another,  celebrate each other, fight, laugh, love, scream, live for each  other.  You are so similar and yet so  different.  Thank  you for  allowing me to  be your mom.  I am honored and blessed by your greatness, and love you more then the moon, and the sun, and alllllllllllll  the stars  in the sky infinity amen.

Wait...there was a wagon?!?!?

 

 

Wow...its been almost a full month since my last post, and I have to admit some of my time away was WONDERFUL, some not so wonderful, and some hard but worthwhile.  With all that being said I have SO much too catch you up on. 

 

First was vacation.  We  have never taken a vacation that wasn't fraught with stress and running around.  We do trips like Disney, Busch Gardens, Washington DC...places  that are  amazing and fun but require a lot of planning and walking and doing.  Now my mini me is a beach junkie.  Not sure where she got it from, but thank God she did.  It's as if she knew in her  little heart and soul what mommy and daddy needed all these years.  She asked us if we could do a beach vacation this year, and after our  one day of ocean time last summer, we  were ready to give it a  try.  Oh. Em. Gee.  The  hubs and I have always, I mean ALWAYS, said we  aren't beach people.  We aren't  interested in a beach vacation, what do  you do  when it rains, how do you not get bored...?!?!  Let me say, I am more than happy to say I was dead wrong about that! 

 

even the big girl smiled

We decided  to  go to Charleston, SC.  My hubby grew up spending lots of time there as he had family that  lived there for a long time.  We hadn't been in almost 12 years, so  it was time.  It gave us the best of both sides (just in case).   We had a selection of beaches to  choose from, plus it has the historical and beautiful city of Charleston to enjoy.  For the first time ever on vacation, I relaxed.  I mean, sleep through the night into the morning, roll out of bed  for a coffee and get  dressed  in my bathing suit to go straight to  the beach and lay back down relaxed.  It was amazing, no that's not even a strong enough word, it  was magical.  How had we been so against this for so many years.  We played in the sand,  swam in the ocean, laid on the beach and got  tan.  Mini me was SO happy.  My big girl, sat with kindle in hand enjoying time in her beach  chair under the sun umbrella, and the hubs and I  smiled  and breathed in the sweet salty air.

 



serenity

loving the beach with my girls

my sweetie and me

the beach junkie :)

 

We drove up to Ocean Isle, NC on our last day to see friends at the house they rented for the week.  It was nice to see another beach, but it's just not "our  beach" (which is now the only way my hubby refers to Isle of  Palm).  :)  I just can not even truly put into words how restful, needed, and just perfect it all was.

 

At the end of an awesome week, my hubby got a message though that his father had lost his battle to cancer.  It  was NOT the news we were expecting or obviously wanted to hear, and my hubby didn't want to take away from the  girls fun so we didn't really discuss it until after we were home.  There is still a lot to process from that,  but all in due time.

 

We came out of all of that into the start of a new school year.  My big girl started 8th grade, old hat at this whole school situation. 

lil sis  had to get in on the 1st day fun

 

And then yesterday was the day I had been dreading, excited for, sad, happy...all sorts of  emotions.  My mini me started kindergarten.  I am excited for  her, I really am, but I can't believe she is already at that age.  It goes SO fast.

hambone

this face <3

my baby and me

 

 

Forgive me for being so absent, but as you can see the past few weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster for  us.  With all this, I can honestly say I have not only fallen off the wagon with my eating and exercising, but I basically forgot there even was a wagon. 

 

To be fair, our rule is when on vacation,  we vacation!  We don't worry about what we are  eating, we don't worry about working out.  It's one week a year to  just kick it with the kiddos and that is EXACTLY what we did this year.  It's just with everything else that has happened and we  have had to prepare for, it got put on a back burner.  But have no fear, I sent out a search party...found the wagon, and am climbing back on one leg at a  time. 

 

Do you through the rules away on vacation?

Not So Golden Arches

My first real job as a teenager was at McDonalds.  I started  as a senior in high school, was quickly promoted to a swing manager and loved it.  Yep, that's right.  I loved my job at the golden arches.  I had an amazing boss, made great friends and despite being there pretty much everyday of the week, I still enjoyed my employee discount on my meals.

Fast forward to 2004 and a  documentary by Morgan Spurlock called Supersize Me.  Have you seen this one?  I don't want to spoil it for you but Spurlock goes on a 30 day all McDonalds diet.  He has to order  everything from the menu at least once, and he has to say yes anytime they ask him to supersize his order.  Guess what?  By the end of the 30 days, he has gained weight, his liver panels are bad, just a host of terrible things. 

Bad McDonalds, right?    Well yes and no in my opinion.  See, as I  see it over the years McDonalds  as  well   as other fast food restaurants has tried  to offer healthier alternatives.  You can get salads, wraps, bottled water, apple slices...and that is where, to me, Spurlock messed up.  Once he made it all the way through their menu, he didn't have to continue ordering the Big Macs or QPC.  He didn't have to get Coke with every meal when bottled water, milk or even diet was available right?  Don't get me wrong, I see what he was  trying to prove, but I was still upset about it.  It's seems easy to pick on McDonalds, its a big one, but don't fool yourself by  choosing another one. 

I know that fast food is the enemy of healthy living, at  least  one of the big ones.  We try our best to avoid it, but sometimes it's just SO easy to fall into that trap.  Take tonight for example.  I  work until 6, the hubs is home re-roofing the garage all day.  he is going to take Mini me and Sissy to Mini's  dance camp  at 6 and go  back to work on the roof some more.  I am leaving work and driving straight to the studio to pick up the girls at the end of camp at 7:00.  By the time we  are  all home it's going to be close to  7:30...do you know how hard it is to drive past those arches at 7:30 and see the sign advertising the $9.99 dinner box?!?!?!  By that time we  are all going to be exhausted and no one will want to make dinner. 

Tonight we will drive past that sign, my girls will ask for the dinner box, and I will firmly and authoritatively say NO!  Not just because of  the fact that it's not good for us, but also now the resurgence of the pink slime.  The what?  Pink slime.  Yep, those words are associated with our food supply.

 Just seeing this and hearing more about the processing of meat and what is ending up not only in restaurants, but on our grocer's shelves and in our school lunches.  I  have never been so  happy that my kids are packers when it comes  to lunch!  Jamie Oliver brought this and the "ammonia wash" to light in his Food Revolution.  If you haven't seen it on youtube yet, check it out here!!

Watching this, hearing this, seeing this...it made me feel angry, helpless, victimized!  Join the Revolution!  Did you know that studies are starting to show that we may outlive our children?  What have we allowed society to do to us?  How  can we make this better? 

With the idea of the cheapest meat being processed and sold to us, and the huge markup on things like soda...how much would it really cost these  big name fast food restaurants to switch over  to grass fed, organic beef?  how much money would they lose if they served something to the public that was meant for  human consumption?  Come on big business!!

I loved you Mickey D's.  We made memories, we had some laughs...but I  love my children more.  I  may only be one person, and we may only be one family...but it's a start!  Take a stand! 

You can contact these chains and make your voice heard!   
Mcdonalds
Burger  King
Taco Bell

Posturizing on Posture

As  I have been getting “back on the wagon” I  have become keenly aware of something…my posture.  I sit at a desk all day working on a computer.  I have been noticing more and more how poor my posture is, and know that I need  to do something about it.  What better way to find the thing that works best for me then by hitting Pinterest and experimenting a little right?!?!

I have to be honest too, part of  my noticing this  was out of pure vanity.  I get  to work early every day so I can walk a little but before hitting the office.  The other day I was walking past the hospital and scoped out my reflection in the window…it was shocking how I was  standing/walking.  I straightened myself up and instantly saw how much better I looked.  Now, I had to do all this while still moving so as not to look like a complete freakazoid…so  what did I do when I  got home?  Stood in front of my mirror in profile checking myself out some more.  (the kids were laughing their butts off)

By the end of  the day, I felt like my profile was more cave woman then business woman.  I mean, wow!  And the difference it made when I took the time (and mental energy) to stand up straight and tall…BAZINGA!   I looked taller (duh), but also my tummy looked flatter, just an overall leaner version of me!  And I’ve got  to say, Momma likey!!

 

So, as I continue to  gear up for vacation (1 more week), I  am going to experiment with some of  the pins I’ve gotten to see how II can improve my posture.  I mean, the image in my head that I have of how awesome I am going to look walking the beach in SC, tall and lean…well, as tall and lean as my 5’2″ self can :)

Did you know that your little tummy “pouch” could be a result of poor posture?  I didn’t.

I also found out some new things about what kind of negative effects poor posture  can have  on other areas  of your life.  Did  you know  it can deepen depression, cause career problems, even  increase risk of death!  Check out this article  I found on 7 Weird Ways Your Posture Messes With You.  Talk about scary!!

So this week I will be trying a few of these pins out:

3 Simple Stretches  for better posture
The Perfect Posture Workout
Physical Therapy Exercises to Prevent Poor Posture and Neck Pain while Working on the Computer

I know that the best thing I can probably do for this is to just be more aware, but strengthening the right muscles has got  to help  too, right!

How do you stand tall?

Crossing Over

This is my first ever cross-post.  What am I talking about, well let me briefly explain.  I am lucky enough to write with  three fabulous ladies  at The Journey (um, yes Jessica, Cori and Jenny I am talking about you) ...I also have my own personal blog over at BlogSpot, Waits and Measurements.  Now I am a chatty Kathy...anyone who knows me will tell you that...I mean...I like to chat it up, much to my poor husband's dismay sometimes...but I have to admit that I am finding it hard to chat it up sometimes on 2 sites, so I am going to try doing the occasional cross-post.
This month at The Journey, we have been focused on our children and their health and fitness.  What a GREAT way to kick off summer vacation.  I have been trying at our house to piggy back on something Jessica did and go as electronics free as we can in the evenings once I'm home from work.  Jessica did a week-long series on it, check out her wrap up here.  My hubby keeps the kiddos busy with activities and field trips during the day, then when I get home and he heads off to work...I try and keep them moving and trying new things.  Now for those of you who read my posts regularly know, we are a soccer family.  I mean, we are ALWAYS at soccer it seems...but it is something my girls love, it keeps them moving and they are so fun to watch.  So this month has had  a LOT of soccer for my oldest daughter.  She is just amazing.  It's like she can sense the game.  She knows just how hard to kick the ball, what part of her foot to use, where to direct it...she is one with the game.  AH-MAY-ZING!

The mini me is getting pretty good too...she is well on her way to being just like sissy (which I'm pretty sure is all she wants in the whole world right now).

May also meant recital month for our tiny dancer.  She is definitely a stage person (another fine trait that I have passed on to her).  I sat in the auditorium and cried she was so darn cute on that stage.  The crowd LOVED them and she dazzled.

What I love the most is how passionate they both are about the physical activities they do.  They really do put their little hearts into it and it makes me so proud, it also makes me happy that they love moving so much.  I see so many children that are just not doing anything...whether its because there is no motivation from home, or a lack of interest...I don't know.  So I relish every time the kiddos ask to do something outside...or get moving.
Our newest adventure since the weather has finally gotten nice, is evening bike rides.  I love that both my girls like to ride with me.  My oldest is very patient about how stop and go we are when mini goes, but she and I try to make sure we get in a nice ride just the two of us as well when we can.  Mini me is working hard on her safety (have to get ready for Safety Town next month).  we are working on crossing the street on foot and on our bike, steering, speed, traffic signs.  The next big move is to practice riding without our training wheels.  She goes back and forth on this one, but my hubby has come up with what I think is a pretty genius way to work on no training wheels.  I will clue you in more once we practice it a bit more.
We are lucky enough to live close to a great (and huge) park system, so I took a half day last week and mini me and I took her bike to the bike path to practice.  I got some running, some walking in and she pedaled away.  It was so nice.

What fun activities are you doing with your family to get and stay active this summer?!?!
For all my Waits and Measurements fans...I hope you stop by The Journey and check out what we are doing over there...its pretty awesome!
For all our fans at The Journey, hope you can stop by Waits and Measurements sometime.